I am different to what you may assume a counsellor to be. I look rough around the edges, and like I should be in a Motorbike garage covered in oil and grease. I do love doing that too though.
However what does a counsellor look like? Freud? Jung? Suit and tie?
The best compliment I get is that I don’t look like a counsellor at all, but that I am still very good. I am a down to earth person, easy going and straight up with integrity. What you see is what you get.
I am extremely serious and careful as a counsellor. You give me your precious time and ask me to walk your journey with you, whatever that may be, and I will be giving you 100% every time. That means continued studying and researching to bring you the best counsellor I can be. We go through everything together. You will never find another counsellor who will give you any more of themselves in every session than me. That is not a choice on my part, it is the way I am.
I used to think I was given these shoulders and muscles to fight my way in the world, as I was a lost Soul. So I used them, and I fought, and I was still lost, not using my talents. God changed that in one night, my thinking was completely changed around. I have been through a lot in life, and have my own battles, but that is what makes me so strong and determined for my clients, while still being as good a husband and daddy as I can be at home.
My shoulders are for carrying other peoples pain, hurt, rejection, shame, whatever they are finding hard to carry, through counselling. I will help carry it until we find your way to the light at the end of the tunnel. I have done this with many adults and adolescents in the last four years. I have helped people carry their burdens for a time, until they are strong enough to let some go, give it away, and take what is left and move forward in life, knowing that I am still here if they need help in the future. I have learned so much from my clients, each one so special as they put their trust in me and we learn together. I have been given this role in life and I am thankful that I now know what my God given purpose in this insane world is.
The point is there is no such thing as a look for certain jobs. I know doctors that you would never imagine were a doctor walking through a hospital, but will give their patients the best care they can possibly give them. I know other doctors who want everyone to know they are a doctor so they can feel superior, but are not interested in caring for their patients.
It is not about a certain image. A person can be invisible to most other people, as they just want to do their calling to the very best of their ability. The important factor to me and my clients is the result of counselling. The important factor to me is whether my motorbike is repaired properly. I took my bike to a big garage and it was not fixed to my satisfaction. Next time I took it to a small garage with a man who cared about my bike and my happiness with his service. He is now my bike repair guy every time.
You and I may walk past people everyday who blend into the background, but are changing peoples lives for the better. These are the people I like, they are the heroes, not the glory seeking people who only care about what people think of them, but are unable to care for that one person in front of them, or that one motorcycle.
During my counselling training I was highly recommended a counsellor for personal therapy who apparently, was brilliant. I went to see him, and he was so crap I left early. He was obnoxious, pompous and was not listening, therefore I could never have learned from him how to treat people with empathy and respect. I went to another counsellor who was then, relatively unknown. She is fantastic, and has empathy, respect and knowledge and is perfect for me to learn with, and is a great benefit to me and my counselling career.
I prefer to be like my counsellor and my Motorbike man, caring about each individual person and helping each individual person, and changing each life, alongside my clients.
One small ripple of kindness can become a wave as it is multiplied on, with each person benefiting someone else as they have benefited. I like it when I hear of my clients being able to pass on some skills I have taught them onto their friends, therefore the ripple expands.
The video below by NF is about waking up to real life. Waking up to what your life really means, and what you are doing with your God given life.
(image from: coolcatteacher.com)